Trista 28 united states

Well I don't really know that this would be considered child abuse, but when I was growing up I felt like I was never loved as a child.

My parents never had time to show there affection towards me. Mom is a nurse and she always worked hard to give us material possessions, and dad was a police investigator and he never was home; and if he was home he would never say anything to me or my brother.

Dad would always choose my brother over me and if he would get in trouble (my brother)I would always get in trouble cause I'm the older one and I always had to keep my eye on my brother.

And when I would confront both my parents about the issue they never cared. I had to put up with it until after high school when I was 21.

I had a baby; he was my love of my life and the light of my heart. When he was born, I told him I will always love him and I will never treat him like my parents treated me.

I finally had a chance to get out when I met my husband and I packed up my stuff and my son and I left. To this day I still keep my promise to my son. I always make sure I hold my son and tell him that I love him everyday.

On a sad note, my husband passed away two years ago from cancer and I never had an opportunity to tell him thank you for getting me out. I learned one thing from this and that is I'll never treat my kids the way I got treated.

Trista, Feeling like you were never loved is a type of emotional abuse. Emotional abuse is the feeling that your emotional needs were never met (e.g., never feeling loved, being told that your feelings don't matter, etc.) I want you to know that you are and were not responsible for your brother's behaviors. He is the one who made those choices and by no means are you to be held accountable for those choices. Your parents probably felt it was easier to hold you accountable for your brother's behavior so they didn't have to take the time to correct his behaviors; instead, they blamed you! Parents often get wrapped up in trying to make their family happy with material possessions, and sometimes forget about the important matters, like spending quality time with their children. I'm glad to hear that you communicated your feelings to your parents. Unfortunately, they did not get what you were trying to tell them. I suggest writing a letter if you still feel the need to express yourself. There is an example of a letter template in my "free" Healing from Your Child Abuse e-book. You can find the letter template here. It sounds to me that you are still angry and resentful about your parent's behavior, so I'm glad that you're opening up about this. I'm also glad to hear that you're loving your child as you are. A lot of times being abused is a motivator to be a better parent with your own children, but be careful that this is not the only motivator to be a good parent. In my opinion, the best thing you could ever give your child is self-confidence in yourself. If you are happy with yourself, you'll naturally provide a loving, nurturing environment for your child--even during the difficult times when you just feel like giving up! Continue to heal from your childhood and you'll grow to be a better and better parent to your child. With Love, Brandy Shirley, M.A.