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Do You Have a Toxic Parent?
If so, learn how you can deal with this type of parenting without losing yourself in the process.
A toxic parent can be an alcoholic, someone with a mental illness, a well respected community member, or that friendly neighbor just around the corner. This type of parenting is widespread and commonly tucked away like it doesn't exist. When I refer to toxic parenting, I am referring to every style of parenting that inhibits a child from being themselves. The toxicity can range from being a verbally, physically, or emotionally abusive parent to a parent who has difficulty loving themselves for who they are.
Examples of toxic parenting are:
- A mother who doesn't want their children to drink and drive so she allows them to drink at her house.
- A mother who gets drunk and calls her daughter to vent all of her frustrations while she is drunk.
- A father who expects his son to go to the same college and continue with the family business regardless of what the son wants.
- A father who calls his daughter worthless.
- A mother and father who spend their money on drugs while their children fend for themselves.
- A parent who rarely talks to their child, listens to their child, and is rarely there for their emotional, mental, and physical needs.
How to Cope with the Downgrading Remarks and/or Actions:
Coping with the hurtful comments and or actions of toxic parenting is very difficult for the children who love their parent/s. The child wants to please their parent. And often times a child will do just about anything to feel the love that they crave, even if that means allowing their parent to downgrade their self-esteem.So, how does one cope with this type of parenting? Here are the tips... - Do not take your parent's comments or actions personal.
Often times a parent isn't aware that their comments are hurtful. And many times their "hurtful" comments have nothing to do with you, but all to do with them and how they feel about themselves. Do not make their insecurities your own! The best thing you can do for yourself is to be your own best friend during these times and talk to yourself like a loving, respectful friend would talk to you. - Communicate to your parent/s how their comments and/or actions make you feel.
Communicating your feelings is a very respectful thing to do for yourself and for your toxic parent. They need to know how they are affecting you. Your communication skills will help improve your relationship with them. - If verbal communication doesn't work try non-verbal communication.
What I mean by this is if they are not willing to listen to what you have to say, try communicating with your actions. When your parent is saying nasty things to you walk out of the room. Let them know that you will not tolerate their abusive comments. - Stay true to yourself.
Do not allow negative comments to change who you are. Discover everything about yourself that makes you you and stay true to that. This website is a collection of learning how to appreciate your uniqueness. So if you get lost during the process of staying true to who you are, check back in and ask a question if you need too.
Related Articles:Physical Abuse Emotional Abuse Signs Share your child abuse story
Return from Toxic Parent to Relationships and Family
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