The Best Self Improvement Advice:
Forgive Yourself!

The best self improvement advice I could ever give someone is to forgive oneself for wrong doings.

Many times we think of forgiveness as something we give others. We often do not think about the concept of forgiving ourselves for our mistakes. Instead, we hold ourselves guilty for the things we have done or the things we have said.

A guy I know (we'll call him Bob) and I were talking today about the act of forgiving oneself. He stated that he couldn't forgive himself until he received the forgiveness of a friend who he had let down recently. Bob was afraid of asking for forgiveness from his friend because he feared his friend's response. "What if he will never forgive me?"

So what if this friend never forgives him? And what will Bob do with himself in the meantime?

• Will he continue to punish himself for the mistake he made?


• Will he carry around the idea that he doesn't deserve joy because he let his friend down?

Only Bob will know! But, one thing is certain..if he isn't able to forgive himself, his personality and mood will likely change.

Many times the reason we don't forgive ourselves is feeling as if we "need to be punished for what we have done." And if no one else will punish us, we believe that it's our responsibility to do the job by withholding forgiveness. Yet, this is a very unhealthy and unloving thing to do to oneself.

• If you have hurt someone in someway and you are remorseful, let that person know how you are feeling.
  

  If that person forgives you, that's great! It's time to let the issue go!

  If that person doesn't forgive you, that's okay! You do not need their forgiveness to move on. You have done all the necessary steps for paying your respects and regrets. There is no need to keep punishing yourself for it. It is time to forgive yourself.

• If you are not able to apologize to the person who you have hurt, write them a letter.
  

  Even if you don't know their address, write it anyway. After you have written your letter, let the pain and regrets go. Move forward and forgive yourself.

• Think about how it feels to hold that remorse inside of you.
  

  It's not a pretty feeling. It's actually quite ugly and it keeps you from enjoying yourself and enjoying life. Talk to yourself kindly and practice thought stopping. Every time you have an ugly thought of "your a bad person" or "you don't deserve happiness" stop that thought right away and replace it with something much kinder such as, "I am not a bad person and I make mistakes." "I deserve to be happy."

So as you can see it's very important to learn how to forgive yourself. If you ever need one piece of self improvement advice this, my friend, would be it!