Ryan's Child Abuse Story

Ryan from the United States writes: I was nine the first time my dad hit me. I thought it was strange, and I didn't expect it to happen again. It wasn't bad, really, just a bruise. Well, my dad hit my mom a lot, and started hitting me too. He would get home from work sometimes, and get angry for not having my homework done, or that I ate too much at dinner or something, or left a light on. He’d tell me to go outside, and he'd lock the doors. Sometimes, I would stay out all night, and my mom didn't care. She never said anything to me afterwards, I’d just go to my room, lock the door and try to sleep. When I locked the door, it would make my dad even angrier. He'd tell me I was the child sent from hell, and that he was going to give me a taste of the hell I put him through. He’d take off his belt and start hitting me as hard as he possibly could, over and over again. If I cried, then he'd just hit harder and more often. He’d count each time he hit me. I had terrible marks all over me. One time he backed me into a corner and grabbed me by the neck. I started choking, he spit on me, and I blacked out. When I woke up, the house was in shambles and he was gone. For three weeks, he was gone, and when he came back I was home alone. It scared me to death, so I ran out the back door. He followed me out, but I didn't see him, so I just stood there, scared. He came out of the garage a minute or two later with a pitchfork and started chasing me around the yard with it. He’d tell me his life was my fault, that I was a complete waste. That no one wanted me, and it was better off if I died. He started kicking me out of the house periodically about the time I was twelve, so I’d go and live with the neighbors. When I was allowed back into the house, the beatings would return. He’d break things on me all the time, like lamps and dishes. Holes were in our walls everywhere. He tried to drown me one night in the pool. After that, I decided that he was right, and that I didn't need to live anymore. We went on a family vacation to the Caribbean last summer. We went scuba diving. While under water, I turned off my air tank. I was pulled up by the guide, and taken to the hospital. I still live with my dad and his girlfriend, because my mom didn't want me. He continues to beat the hell out of me. After many suicidal attempts, I have given up and decided that I’m here for some purpose. By God, I am saved; I can only hope that one day, it will all end. Until then, I know I have to hang on, because my life isn't mine to take; only God has that right. So I aspire to become a social worker, that maybe I’ll save someone from this hell in which I live.

Dear Ryan,

What a beautiful person you are! Both your mother and father are blind to what a great daughter they have! By no means are you a “waste;” and I’m so glad that you’ve come to a place in your life where you can see your purpose! You are going to help many people in your lifetime and you’re going to be a great social worker!

You do not have to continue to put up with your father’s abusive behavior. He has almost killed you several times and it’s very important that his behavior stops! It is not okay for him to be treating you like this!

You are not at fault for your father’s behavior and life! He is angry about something, but it has nothing to do with you! Unfortunately, he’s taking his anger out on you, which needs to stop right away, and you’re just the person to make it happen! You will be doing both you and him a favor! Deep down your father knows this is wrong, and deep down he’ll be thankful that you put a stop to it, although he may never say it!

The best way to love yourself is to find a safe and loving environment where you can begin growing into a healthy person. The longer you allow yourself to stay in this environment, the longer it will take for you to feel good about yourself! It’s important to find an environment (people included) where you feel valued as a person and where you can be yourself!

I highly recommend that you speak to your school counselor or a trusted friend or relative about what has been going on at home! It’s very important for your well-being and future as a person of respect and value! When you said,

I realized that it’s probably hard for you to feel your emotions and ventilate your feelings; so I’m so proud of you for taking this step today in sharing your story with millions of people! Your feelings are important and you have every right to share them!

However, now it’s time for the hard part….getting your feelings heard in order to change your environment. As I said earlier, it’s very important that you leave and it’s equally important to make him responsible for his actions, in a healthy, non-violent sort of way! You can do this by talking to a school counselor! Your school counselor is trained in this area and he or she will know how to help you from there! You could also call the police and let them know what’s been going on or you can call the

Child abuse hotline at… 1-800-252-2873. The important issue here is regaining control over your life; and stopping the abuse is the first step in feeling better about yourself! You do not have to tolerate it anymore!

Please keep in contact and you can e-mail whenever you need too! You can also read the free “Healing from Your Child Abuse Story Once and For All” to help you move forward from this abuse!

With Love,

If you would like to comment on Ryan's story, please post your comment below and I will post the comment on her page. Only encouraging, inspiring, and "been there-understanding" messages are accepted.

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