Russ 38 USA

I have a friend who when he comes to my house and has to do his number 2 he flushes 3-5 times normally. I one time asked him and he told me he is afraid to clog up the toilet.

Should I ask him to give me money for my water bill and is this a form of obsessive-compulsive behavior?

I know we have different friends for different reasons. I would not want someone like him for a relationship.

I have also found in life a lot of women I have liked have only liked me as a friend. It seems many women are into the bad boy type with looks and material status being the most important factors as well.

Thank you for your time. I hope all your goals and dreams come true. Enclosed is a goal poem for luck.

Sincerely,

Russ

Best of Luck On Your Goals

I am sure you will accomplish the many goals you set out to achieve.

You are a determined smart and independent individual that is fair and compassionate.

You are outgoing and get along well with others.

Even though life throws us curves, you will stay on course and bring sunshine to others, even when the rain clouds are storming.

I wish you the best in all you do.

---

Russ,

Hello..and thank you for asking this question and posting that beautiful poem!

It's definitely possible that your friend is suffering from OCD, but it's hard to make that conclusion with only the toilet information. People with OCD have the need to do things in a certain order and often will have to do this a number of times in order to ease their anxiety.

Since your friend is worried that he'll clog your toilet, he probably feels that he needs to flush it so many times before he won't feel anxious about clogging your toilet.

Instead of charging him for your water bill, I would suggest that you tell him that it will be okay if the toilet clogs; that the toilet can be fixed if that happens. Let him know that it would be great if he could try to only flush the toilet 3 times instead of 5 and continue to let him know that it's okay if it clogs.

Do this until you get him down to flushing the toilet once; this will help ease his anxiety and stop it from happening again in the future.

In terms of your relationship question, I guess I'm a little confused as to what your sexual preference is. Are you bi-sexual, homosexual, or heterosexual? The reason I ask is because of your comment "I wouldn't want someone like him for a relationship." If you are confused about your sexuality, women will get that impression, which may be the reason why you are having some problems with women.

Not all women like "bad boys," and in fact, those who do, are afraid of what it feels like to be loved by someone who treats them well..it may be an unknown territory to that woman.

It is important for women, as well as men, to be attracted to their partner. If you are having problems in this area, maybe take a look at your confidence. If you are exhibiting low self-confidence, regardless of how you look, a woman (or man) will pick that up. In order to attract a mate, it's important that you feel comfortable with you first.

Get confident with yourself, find a look that suites you and makes you feel good, and read some self-help material, and you will attract a mate before you know it!

With Love,

Brandy Shirley, M.A.