Relationships and Family:

Respecting yourself and your family members by resolving conflict.

Relationships and Family: How Family Members Usually Handle Conflict?

Family relationships are often very complex. There are feuds about money, parenting, drugs/alcohol use, and the most underlying conflict, a feeling of being disrespected or not valued.

Every conflict in a relationship is different. So, sometimes it's hard to understand what the conflict is all about. However, one thing is for sure, it can take days or even years before conflict is resolved. Sometimes conflict can even be taken to the grave, leaving the one still living with feelings of hurt, anger, or sadness.

Many family members like to avoid conflict, whereas others like to ventilate their concerns with other loved ones, professionals, or even acquaintances. Sometimes the strained relationship will end because the conflict could never be resolved.

Watch this clip of Kellie Pickler "tearfully" singing a song about the relationship between her and her mother called, "I Wonder."

Since the relationship between Kellie and her mother has been strained, Kellie has found another healthy outlet for ventilating her feelings. And I am sure this has been a healing process for Kellie.

I encourage others to ventilate their frustrations through a creative, healthy outlet like Kellie has done. Here are some more techniques for improving your relationships.

Relationships and Family: Improving Your Family Relationships

If you are having difficulty with all of your family members or just a few, I have some suggestions for you to make the relationships much better...

• Respect each other: Listen to what the other person has to say without judging them.
• Assertive Communication: Assertive communication states that you respect your loved one and you respect yourself as well. Out of all the suggestions, I recommend using this one the most.
• Avoid yelling, blaming, or putting each other down.

• Avoid making assumptions.
• Say sorry if you were wrong.
• Don't take attacks personal: Many times when a family member is attacking (i.e. putting another person down), the attack has nothing to do with the other person and more to do with the family member doing the attacking.

Relationships and Family: Summary

Part of building a better relationship with yourself is respecting yourself enough to improve your relationships with loved ones.

However, it's also important to recognize that not all family conflicts can be resolved. If this is ever the case, respect yourself enough to let the conflict go and do everything you can to improve your own well-being.

A good book to read on how to handle conflicts with family members and other loved ones is The Four Agreements: by Don Miguel Ruiz.

Relationship Resources and Articles

Toxic Parents

Mother Daughter Relationships

Coping with a Family Member, Friend, or Significant Other's Anger