my mother ignores me i feel like i dont have a mother

by kimberly christian
(avoca pa)

i just want to start off by saying i love my mother very much she is the only mother i,ll ever have and when she is gone i wont have a mother any more. my mother was never a nurturing mother, for some reason it is hard for her to say i love or show me any real affection.when i was growing up she wouldnt even get up with us in the morning for school it was like we were on our own. i thought this was normal.she cheated on my father with her current husband and it seems like she centered her entire world on him and my half brother. this has had a terrilbe effect on me and my other brother because there was things that were done to us that were almost unforgivable.when we were young she made us lie to our father about having another brother my stepfather was still married at the time and they had my half brother out of wedlock.it is 28 years later since my half bother was born. and my mother still doesnt participate in my life. i was the one always calling her wanting to do stuff be with her but the final staw came when i wanted to visit for mothers day and she told me she had to check her callender i found this very hurtful would she say that to my half brother? i have to check my calender? i dont understand i dont think i did anything wrong to deserve this treatment from my mother. i just want to understand why she chooses to cut me out of her life. she never worked a day in her life she had all the time in the world to make time for me. now that i,m married with a family of my own i could never do to my daughter what she has done to me. i need help to understand what is going on. i'm not a jelous person i love my half brother very much i'm not mad at him. i just wish she showed the same love for my bother and i as she did for him.