MsWhitney's Child Abuse Story

Mswhitney from the United States writes: So it all started when I was a baby. I was given to my dad's mom when I was about - years old. My grandma was a crack head. She let the drugs take over her. It started off with leaving me alone for hours at a time and then it went to coming home high and beating me. One time she stomped on my back with her foot, people took pictures because you could see her foot print in my back. I was saved from that my the time I was - years old, at that time I thought that I was saved I WAS WRONG. I went into a foster home there I was beat and sexually abused. There were four boys living in the house I was in. I felt used and that I was not worth anything. I thought that it was my fault. I was too afraid to speak out about what was going on that it went on for a long time. The boyz had there way with me whenever they wanted, they knew that I was not going to say anything. If I told, I was afraid that it would get worse. But even though I didn't tell, it got worse and things just got out of hand. At --years old I had already gone through more than anyone my age should have. By the time I was -- years old I was ready to have my first baby, but by that time the mom had caught on that something was going on. When I told her about it she made me get an abortion. Even after I told her, the abuse still went on. The beatings got worse and the sexual abuse got even worse. I was too afraid to say anything that I was willing to take my life the only thing that stopped me was the fact that I met someone who I was able to tell and was able to know that he was not going to say anything to anyone about it. As things got worse, my friend decided to tell his parents. I was mad because I just knew if the boyz found out that I told, they would hurt me really bad. My friend's mother called my school and said that someone should talk to me because there were things going on that should not be. When I was called down to the office I was scared because I knew this could not be good. I didn't talk at first but slowly I started to open up and at the end of that night I was moved from that home. Even though I don't live there, I still have nightmares and I can still smell them. It's hard to go on after all this, I don't really trust anyone because I don't want them to use me. All of this has caused me not to be able to sleep at night for the fear of what's going to happen to me once I close my eyes.

Mswhitney,

Thank you for sharing your story. I believe that many people can relate to what you have gone through and what you are currently struggling with. It's very hard to open up to others about something so personal, but thank God you did! I commend you for the strength and courage for doing so.

What you are currently going through may be Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). This is often very common after experiencing a traumatic event, such as sexual and physical abuse.

PTSD symptoms include:

Nightmares (distressing dreams), flashbacks of the event/s that occurred, feelings like the event is reoccurring all over again, efforts to avoid the thoughts or feelings associated with the traumatic event, difficulty sleeping (i.e. falling asleep, staying asleep, insomnia), irritability, difficulty concentrating, anger outbursts, and easily startled.

My advice to you is.. get the help you need to move on.

You can move on and there are professionals who can help you do that. Therapists, psychiatrists, and psychologists are professionally trained to help people overcome traumatic events. These professionals do not take confidentiality or trust lightly. However, do keep in mind, that each professional has their own way to therapy, so make sure you find someone who you feel comfortable with.

If you are interested in getting help, you can find a local therapist, psychiatrist, or psychologist in your local phone directory. Many clinics are based on a sliding scale fee, which means these clinics base your fee on your income.

If you are not interested in getting professional help, read inspiring material, find self-help books, and support groups to help you during this time of need. You have the right to enjoy your life and to have meaningful, loving relationships.

All the best Mswhitney!

With Love,

If you would like to comment on Mswhitney's story, please post your comment below and I will post the comment on her page. Only encouraging, inspiring, and "been there-understanding" messages are accepted.

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