Many of my clients
bring up issues with their mothers.
So, let's talk more about this type of relationship.
Daughters are in
need of a mother's guidance, support,
friendship, and love. Sometimes, however, a daughter does not receive
this from her mother.
It is common to
receive a mother's opinion and feedback.
Yet, the feedback that's the most difficult to receive is the demanding
and negative criticism.
A mother and
daughter also "butt heads" when the two
have different perspectives, beliefs, values, and goals. This creates a
difficult relationship between a mother and daughter.
When a mother wants
to push her beliefs on her daughter,
the daughter will either rebel, resort to "hiding" from her mother, or
create constant turmoil for their relationship.
Mothers are usually
confused when it comes to
understanding their daughters.
She typically is
not aware of how her beliefs, opinions,
and criticisms affect the self-worth of her daughter.
However, she
usually is aware of her daughter's behavior
toward her. "Why isn't she listening to me?" "She's always angry at me
for something."
Check out this
video about the famous "mother daughter
feud" between Kellie Pickler and her mother, which Kellie sings about
in her hit song, "I wonder."
Improve
your mother daughter
relationship
The best way to
improve a mother and daughter
relationship, along with other relationships, is by communicating
with each other in a healthy way.
How do you
communicate in a healthy way?
Honor your
feelings. Honor yourself and your beliefs.
Mothers understand that it's okay for your daughter to have different
beliefs, opinions, and values than your own. This is healthy and
normal. The best advice I can give you is to honor your daughter's
individuality.
You can honor
your daughter's individuality by
listening to her. Daughters understand that your mother is usually
unaware of how she is making you feel. You need to let her know how you
feel. If you have done this already, try it again. Chances are she
didn't take you seriously.
Understand that
building a better relationship with
each other takes time. It also takes patience and the appropriate
resources to help you with this.
Mothers it is
very important to develop a loving,
healthy relationship with yourself. The most loving thing you can do
for your daughter is develop a healthier relationship with yourself. A
mother is less likely to try to control her daughter's life when she
accepts herself (faults and all).
