Masturbation Questions and Answers

Masturbation questions from relationship-with-self viewers...

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• Q #1): My girlfriend is very shy and has turned her nose up at the idea of us masturbating together, something that was very common in my prior relationships. She won't even watch me do it-says it's disgusting. I've never heard that from a woman before.I'm starting to lose confidence because I never know what she'll like or dislike. That has made me afraid to suggest new things, or just be myself in the bedroom, and now I feel our sex life is somewhat bland. I don't want the problem to perpetuate, but I'm not sure how to get her to experiment a little. We're both in our 40's.Best regards,

  Bill from the U.S.

• A #1): Hey Bill,

  Does your girlfriend know how you feel about your sex life? If not, I would suggest that you talk to her about this just as you are here and see how that goes. Does she just shy away from masturbating together? Or does she seem to shy away from the whole idea of having sex? She may have a way that she enjoys that she hasn't explained to you yet.

  Even though you're afraid, ask her what she wants. This will show her that you are interested in pleasing her. If she doesn't have an answer try these things, kiss her on the neck slowly, touch her softly, and take your time. Try not to compare your current sex life with your past relationships b/c you may end up disappointing yourself in the end. And it never hurts to communicate about your sex life. Actually, communicating with each other is more of a turn on than you may know (at least from a woman's perspective ;)

  If you thoroughly enjoy the masturbating part, ask her if she would try masturbating while having sex with the lights off and see how that goes. If she continues to avoid masturbating together, let it go and always try other things. Don't give up! There will be something that the two of you can enjoy!

  Sincerely,

  Brandy Shirley, M.A.

• Q #2): John writes...

  I like to masturbate at work. My co-workers are offended & HR wants to talk to me about it. Should I tell them to fck off?

  A #2):

  Hi John,

  No you should not tell them to f** off, unless you want to be fired. Masturbation is healthy and encouraged. However, there comes a time when you need to set boundaries for yourself, especially at the workplace. Since your masturbation habits have caused distress with your co-workers, it's necessary for HR to take a look into this. And if this has been an ongoing thing such as continually exposing yourself to co-workers, there may be a much bigger issue here. It may be best, in the future, to keep your masturbating habits at home where it doesn't offend anyone. However, if you cannot stop this behavior, talk to a local therapist or doctor about your concerns.

  Sincerely,

  Brandy Shirley, M.A.

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