Joni, 43, United States of America

by Joni
(Beloit, Wisconsin, US)

Hello,
I have had a past filled with some very horrific things, that started when I was about 8 years old..

My father was a Marine drafted into the military and fought in the Korean war..he never got help for his anger..He was a great teacher in many ways, but always a very disciplined and angry person....he has a right to be angry, from what I know about him and what I have read...

When I was 8, my sister got burned over 60% of her body, when I was nine my Mother got cervical cancer, when i was ten my brother started his life long drug habit, and at the time was into worshiping Satan, a practice which has changed for him, but left much damage in his wake....when I was 13 my father had a stroke, when I was fifteen I tried to commit suicide and also had a drug habit that lasted about a year and a half..

I tried to protect them all to the best of my ability, but by the time I was 23, my parents were deceased, and the family completely severed, and I was alone wandering for many years..The damage is so extensive that I sleep eat and sleep walk, to this day almost as if I am looking for my parents..I am constantly on the defensive, but have made it my lifes work trying to help others..it is not something I get paid for , just something i do..I help people that most would not even speak to...I have learned much by trying to take care of things at a young age,
but now I feel the need to heal my own damage that I have held on to for years..