jeremy 37 slc ut

by jeremy
(SLC UT USA)

My parents divorced when I was 9 years old. A couple of months later I moved in with my dad. I got a job delivering newspapers in the new neighborhood. That was where I met Walt he was bald about 45 and he was the 1st person to sexually molest me.

He bought the paper and invited me in gave me a job mowing his lawn. Offered me a beer and took a picture of my penis. that was weird and funny to a almost 10 year old. My first sexual experience was Walt giving me a blow job.

He continued to molest me and take advantage of me until we moved. I tried to tell my father but he just wasn't hearing me he was so broken by the divorce that he just wasn't there.

When we moved a while later I was going to the local neighborhood house daycare and Tony a teacher there molested me a couple of times until he almost got caught and left his position. I was 12.

Through out my life I have wondered why I participated in this behavior it felt wrong but I still did it.

I wondered if I was gay for a while, but I'm not. I have used drugs and alcohol most of my life to dull my pain. I have chosen women that are emotionally unavailable just like mom. And I am recently divorced from my wife of 10 years.

I am now sober and recovering from an emotional blow worse than ever my heart is so broken and I feel like the victim I'm depressed and alone. Now I just take it one day at a time one minute one second....

I forgive myself the world and all that have trespassed against me. GOD please forgive me.

jeremy