Isabella, 23, Chicago...confused about a guy

by Isabella
(Chicago)

Ok…where do I even start? This story is very complicated so I’ll try to make it as simple as possible.

I was with a guy for 5 years. We had plans of a future together when one day he called me out of the blue and said we were done. The truth was he had left me for a 17 year old girl he worked with (*he is 24). This was 3 months ago and I feel like I’ve 90% moved on.

Anyway about 1 month after the break up I met this guy at a night club…he was a dancer there. He was essentially the opposite of the guy I had dated earlier. Amazing good looks, tall, funny, and very flirtatious. It was my birthday and he was all over me the entire night. I honestly thought this was part of the job, but then he asked if we could exchange numbers.

Well two weeks without a word from him (with the exception of a few text messages) I got a call at about 2 in the morning. He wanted to see me. I wasn’t stupid…I knew where the night was going. The thing is that I was never the girl to do a “booty call” but he was the kind of guy that was way out of my league. I couldn’t pass the opportunity.

I went home the next morning after what was the single most amazing night of my life. I kept telling myself he isn’t going to call back, it was just a sexual experience, no relationship, nada.

Well me being the girl I am I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I wanted something so much more than just that. I tried to call him. No returned calls. I tried to make plans with him via text message, and he was always busy.

2 weeks passed again and I had given up on the delusions that I would get anywhere with this man and I receive another call at midnight. He wanted to see me. Well at this point I started to think that he perhaps did like me and that if I spent one more night with him perhaps he would gain an interest.

I ended up seeing him again and this time I think we made an emotional connection that was deeper than the first night. But something was definitely wrong the next morning. He was a little cold and distant toward me. He just wanted to get me out of there ASAP. He called a cab to take me home and he even paid for it. I thought I blew it. I felt so devastated. I felt like I screwed something up.

But once again two weeks later he texts me “baby you need a car.” Ok so he wants to see me again, only this time he doesn’t want to make an effort to come and get me. In anger I responded a little bitterly.

Well I think it really must have pushed him away because now he hasn’t responded to any texts even one with an apology. This was yesterday. I don’t know what to do. I know he doesn’t want a relationship but I’m getting confused by all these calls wanting to see me in the middle of the night. I want to be with him on a much deeper level. What should I do?