Improve Self Confidence:

By Giving Unconditional Love to Others!

One of the best ways to improve self confidence is to give unconditionally to others.

Unconditional love is, the act of giving without expecting anything in return. And what that means is, you're able to give your love to those who you care about even when they are not appreciative, don't return the love, have different beliefs and values, have a different lifestyle, and so on.

Many people mistake love as being conditional. And Conditional Love is, the act of loving another person as long as you get something in return. Here are a few common examples of "conditional love:"

• Giving ultimatums.

  Many times ultimatums are used to get what "you" want rather than give what's best for you and your loved one. Of course, there are many variables that come along with this, but more often than not, ultimatums are a form of "loving someone only if..."

  The problem with ultimatums are, you get yourself in a trap. For instance, let's say you're living with an alcoholic and you're tired of their drinking. You say to your loved one, "If you don't stop drinking, I am leaving," but in actuality you want to stay with your loved one.

  Okay, now let's say that your husband or wife doesn't stop drinking, instead they hide it from you, what do you do then? Are you going to leave even though you don't want too?

  The truth is, you would do just about anything to make your loved one stop drinking. Unfortunately, leaving doesn't always solve the problem. Sometimes it can make it worse such as your loved one feeling distrustful that you "really" want to be there for them.

  Of course, if you have had enough and you are ready to leave, then by all means stick to your truth and leave. But, don't say something to a loved one that you don't mean. This is a form of conditional love, "I will love you as long as you don't drink." Speak from your heart and not from your head and this will improve self confidence naturally. And that's what unconditional love is all about.

• Judging others for being different than you.

  This one is pretty common. If you are in need of improving self confidence, however, judging others is the least effective way to feel good about yourself.

  The irony of this is, judging is often done by the ones that "love you the most." Why is that?

  I believe that we are scared to be ourselves. So, in order to "feel accepted," we judge others for being different or for "being themselves." And this is quite common in families, friendships, and religious gatherings.

  Let me give you some good examples of this form of "conditional love."



1. You have been "acting" straight for years until finally you admit to your loved ones that you are gay. Suddenly, no one wants to hang out and your church members "shun" you as a sinner who will be damned to hell. Is this unconditional love? I think not!
2. Your own mother believes that you "should" like rock music instead of country. Or she believes that you should dress a certain way, act a certain way, and believe the same thing as she does. Is this unconditional love?
3. Your friends believe that you should all hang out every weekend until you decide to do something different than them. Suddenly, your friends are no longer calling you or inviting you to hang out with them on the weekends. Is this unconditional love?
• Manipulating others.

  Manipulating others to get what you want is by no means loving. It is not loving of the self or of another person. Manipulating another person says, "I don't value you." Examples of manipulation are: Ignoring another person when you don't get your way and attempting to make another person feel guilty in order to get your way.

Now that you understand some common examples of conditional love, let's look at how you can begin showing unconditional love to others.

How to Improve Self Confidence by Unconditionally Loving Others:

• Improve self confidence by giving to others without expecting anything in return.


• Allow others to be themselves without judgment.


• Follow the "Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz.


• Communicate your needs/wants and respect the needs/wants of others.


• Let go of judgment.


• Let go of control.


• Let go of fear.


• Compliment others.


• Spend time getting to know your family members for who they are.


• Let go of expectations.


• And the last, but certaintly not the least, is Do Not, I repeat Do NOT, abuse anyone in any way!

Now go out there and improve self confidence by loving someone without condition!

Learn how to unconditionally love yourself

Tips for forgiving yourself

Building trust for yourself and others.

Return from Improve Self Confidence to Loving Others

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