I can't stand my best friend's husband

by Janine
(San Diego, CA)

My best friend is married to a man that doesn't deserve her. Over the course of one year, he managed to drain her savings account without her knowledge, I'm talking about over $8,000 and since then she has struggled to pay her bills. He was fired from his job because he "lost" the store's nightly bank deposit, leaving her to work two jobs supporting both of them and his 2 children from a previous marriage.

During all of this he would purchase Valentine's day gifts for his ex-wife instead of her, he would insult her in front of her friends without apology, he doesn't pitch in with any of the household chores even though he's home all day and this just scratches the surface.

I am not the only one that feels this way, most of her friends have severed ties with her because of this guy....even her family can't stand him. Despite all that he has done and continues to do, she accepted his marriage proposal and asked me to be her maid of honor.

In good conscience, I couldn't be a part of a wedding I didn't approve of so before I agreed to be in her wedding I and another bride's maid who felt the same, told her exactly what we thought about him. This of course did not go over well and she still proceeded to marry him. Now a year has passed and she doesn't understand why my husband and I won't hang out with her.

We've been friends for almost 15 years and I don't want to say goodbye but I see how unhappy she is (she stills works two jobs and they can't make rent), I hear in her voice that she's exhausted, I know she gives more than she gets in this relationship and yet something inside me keeps me from giving her sympathy.

Should I move on from the friendship? Should I pretend to like this guy? Our friendship has not recovered from our "talk" we had about him....what should I do??