gardener friend

by Phoebe
(Tacoma)

I need advice on whether it is a bad idea to work for your best friend. I am in a really awkward situation and am about ready to quit. My long time best friend owns her own landscape/gardening company.

Last fall I got laid off from my 19 year job for an accounting firm. Since my degree was in horticulture and I had gardening experience my friend immediately offered to hire me for her part-time, seasonal crew.

This spring I went on a job with her and was being very cautious, trying to get a feel for how they did things. She made some comment about how "different" my work style was and how I was going to be "interesting" to work with because I had a creative mind.

I worked with her a couple more times and then told her I had been cautious because I was feeling things out. I started working faster and more confidently and she seemed to think my pace and work was just fine, as apparently did the people I worked with. I, myself thought I was doing a fine job.

Since then she has only given me about 5 two or three hour jobs in 5 months. The rest of her crew are working weekly at least one or 2 days each. She has another good friend on her crew who she sometimes complains about, saying she is a slow worker, etc., but she still gives her work and keeps her on. I cannot believe I am any worse than this person or most of them.

I have hinted around several times about my lack of work and even outright asked her what's up and she always makes excuses, laughs it off, denys it and changes the subject.

Tonight I tried to talk to her about it and told her I know we are friends and she doesn't "owe me" anything, but I am starting to feel weird about it and can't figure out why she doesn't give me any work. Again she just laughed it off and changed the subject.

I think I have decided I am going to quit. Other than this our friendship is great and it's not worth it to jeopardize it for this. I'm thinking friendship and work don't mix well, but the problem is that my feelings are already hurt.

It's clear that she doesn't want to talk about it, and I'm just praying that damage hasn't already been done to our friendship because I am starting to resent the fact that she won't be honest with me. It makes me wonder if I am so horrible that she can't tell me and also to question why she isn't acting like a better friend.

I don't think she means to hurt me, I think she feels awkward about something and this is her way of dealing with it. I can't figure out why if my work isn't so great, that since I am her best friend she can't talk to me about my work or try to coach me a little or help me. I am really confused and can't believe I am really this bad. I'm wondering if anyone has had a similar experience or has any advice.