Friend irritates others

by Jennifer
(VA)

A friend (we are both in our early 40's)and I have become much closer over the past year as our children have developed friendships through ball and we travel together on a regular basis with the team.

My friend is a genuinely nice person but is very opinionated, confrontational and self-absorbed in conversations. She interrupts others and usually turns the conversation around to herself and her personal experiences. She almost always "knows best" about the topic and will argue with others regarding their opinions.

I've learned to just "pick my battles" with her - ignore it, or move on...sometimes I'll engage her if I feel like it is of importance to me. Usually I just let her rant and then change the subject.

I have on one occasion, expressed my feelings had been hurt by things she'd said which could have been unsaid. She aplogized but seemed to have no insight into how she does this frequently. The problem is, I've included her in my other friendship groups and people don't like her. In fact, I started a book club and included her with about 7 other ladies. Several have come to me with complaints that they are not enjoying the book club because she interrupts them and is such a a "know it all" about every topic. I'm not sure what to do.

I'm afraid they may quit the book club - which I really enjoy. Should I talk to my friend about how she is percieved by others? Or does she need to come to this realization on her own? I don't want to offend her or hurt her feelings but I also wonder if it might be helpful to her personally if she could gain some insight into how her behavior bothers people?