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Feeling a little left out

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Oct 24, 2011
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What I did and it worked
by: Anonymous

The most important thing is that you love yourself. If you do, your going to be oK. People can tell how you respect yourself, and if don't, why should they?

The next is to be genuinely interested in thier interests and what they do. Use their names hen addressing them, and in conversation ask them questions about things they are interested in.
But, be genuine. Its easy to spot someone who is desperate for attention, or faking it. If people sense someone is forcing "being nice" they automatically distance themselves emotionally and physically, whether they want to or not.

Next, get interested in what they are interested in and do similar activities, for example, if they are on a sports team, go play sports. Athletics and TEAM BUILDING activities will help develop shared experiences, and self confidence. It also helps develop social skills.

Furthermore, the most important thing is that YOU have your own personal activities that you enjoy separate from theirs. Make sure your personal activities away from your group develop you as a person and provide you with a 'wow' factor or skill. Your personal interests should also be oriented around other people outside your normal group of friends. Make more freinds. If you increase your own social network, people have more to gain from you and will pay you more attention. Plus, friendships rarely last long as people grow apart and develop new interests, or are separated by physical and emotional distance, so its better not to put all your eggs in one basket.

When interacting with a group, it is very important to measure the energy levels of those around you and to match them. If they are calm, and you are far too energetic, or if you are sad and a downer when they are not, it will make them feel uncomfortable around you.

Always be positive, even if you saying something negative cast it in a positive light, or alternate positive and negative statements. Smile whenever your talking to someone. It does not have to show teeth, but it does have to reach your eyes and maybe the corners of your mouth.

Seriously, this works. I was a loner for a very long time, then I expanded my interests, got involved in sports, became happier, smiled more and gradually developed genuine interest in others, which is often accompanied by a smile. Keep your friends, but know the world is full of other amazing people who will respect you and listen and care. Whatever you do, do not ak them to include you. Show them why you should be included, by being the best YOU can be. But, dont do it for them DO IT FOR YOU. They probably don't mean to exclude you, its just human nature. They are likely excluding you because you are excluding yourself. Take responsibility and control of your life and actions. Never let others make you feel like less than you are. Others are temporary, you are not.

Btw, you can also read the book "HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE" Its wordy, but it has great points.

Jun 25, 2011
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Don't make the same mistake
by: Anonymous

DO NOT TELL YOUR FRIENDS HOW YOU FEEL!!!!

I did that, and now we keep arguing and they hate me and I'm a friendless loser!!!!! I don't no wat to do I say sorry but it doesn't work!!!

I'm gonna fix and apolgize and say I'm an idiot and say sorry for being mean( I wasn't, they are the most bitchy peeps Eva) they just thougt I was being mean. Wateva. Just don't do wat I did. My mum warned me this will happen. I didn't listen. I'm such. An idiot. I'm gonna let them walk ova me all ova again. Why?? I'm not strong enough to make friendds. Good luck.

Apr 22, 2010
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feeling left out
by: Feeling leftout

i am having that feeling too :(, i am totally left out in the group... i am hanging out with 3 people now and the three of them are just so close and they share their jokes that i don't even understand. i feel really left out when one of my three friends joined in and starts to become close to my other two friends. i have always been trying to impress them, but it didn't work.. i try talking to them on facebook, but they never reply to me after a short convo.
i don;t think they hate me, but i do think that i'm just a tiny tiny part of their lives. i have a feeling that they will not even care if i died or exchanged schools. i'm just a tiny character to them... i have found a true friend before, but she ended up being mean to me when highsvhool started. and i guess i can never find a true friend. i am not greedy, one true friend is enough; i really don't expect for more, i just want a friend to be there for me all the times

Jan 05, 2010
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Work on that feeling of "Not Being Good Enough"
by: Brandy Shirley, M.A.

Hi Carol,

Feeling left out happens to all of us at some point in our lives. I understand how upsetting it can be, but I can also say that this feeling will disappear once you begin working on that feeling of "not being good enough." As long as you feel good for just being you, people will be drawn to your confidence.

Take some time everyday to say things like "I am good enough" "I am confident" and "I attract positive people into my life." If you are interested in affirmations, I suggest you take a look at my daily affirmation book to help you. Or type in self-esteem affirmations in your search engine on the Internet..you'll find excellent resources.

My best Carol,

Brandy Shirley, M.A.

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