Emotional Immaturity
Are You an Emotional Insecure Person?

Emotional immaturity comes from not taking responsibility for your own feelings.

For example, when a friend is late for dinner but is apologetic about the inconvenience, a mature person doesn't take it personal. Instead, the friend accepts the apology and the evening begins a little late.

However, when dinner is late with an immature person, the friend will take offense to the tardiness and treat the other party with spitefulness.

Instead of taking responsibility for feeling angry, the emotional immature person turns their feelings against the late friend..blaming the friend for their anger. As a result, the night is full of uncomfortable feelings for both the friend and the emotional insecure person. In the end, the friendship is based on resentment and anger.

Emotional distress creates havoc and unnecessary drama in relationships. These relationships are controlling and exhausting creating disruption in peaceful living.

When we constantly feel the need to defend ourselves in a relationship or when we are constantly walking on "pins and needles," unhealthy emotions develop. These unhealthy emotions then create stress, anxiety and depression..turning us into unhappy individuals.

Emotional immaturity begins within our families, develops during our friendships, and becomes a living entity in our dating, marital relationships. When our emotions go unrecognized, we begin feeling like a third person is in the room or a dark cloud is following us.

The negativity (i.e., dark cloud) suffocates our ability to live freely and intuitively. Thus, the goal is to clear the negativity and welcome peacefulness back into our lives.

In order to develop freedom, you must learn to become an emotionally stable person. It's important to get back to your spirit..the spirit you were BEFORE you took on the burden of emotional garbage.

The first step is to recognize whether or not you are being an emotional stable or immature person.

Emotional Maturity:

• An emotional mature person respects feelings

All feelings are respected by the emotional stable person. When she is angry, she is angry. When she is sad, she is sad. As soon as she allows herself to feel, the feeling is released. Emotions do not linger past the moment, which allows movement and flow.

• An emotional stable person refrains from holding others hostage with their emotions

All feelings are communicated in a healthy manner. He takes full responsibility for all of his feelings and will never hold another person at fault for the way he feels.

If he is hurt, he will let the other person know he is hurt. If he is sad, he will let the other person know he is sad..and so on.

The key factor is that he will never use his feelings to control someone else. He will not ignore a person when upset nor will he speak bad about the person who has upset him.

• An emotional stable person is respectful of another person's emotional needs

When someone else is sad, angry or upset in anyway, the emotional stable person will not take it personal.

The mature person will not take responsibility for the other party's emotions, but she will listen to their concerns. She realizes that the only control she has is that of her own emotions and behaviors.

Emotional Immaturity

• An emotional insecure person holds onto their unresolved emotions and will use these feelings against others.

An emotional insecure person has difficulty understanding his emotions. He believes that if he uses his anger against the person who has hurt him, he will punish them for what he believes is a wrong doing. It is his intention to control others with his emotions through the silent treatment or by yelling and blaming.

• An emotional insecure person will use their emotions as weapons and will have a difficult time controlling these weapons

An emotional insecure person will use their words and emotions to cause damage. She wants you to feel her pain through name calling, criticism and chaos. She is always on guard and ready to attack at any moment.

• An emotional insecure person has difficulty forgiving and likes to hold grudges.

When an emotional immature person is reminded of past hurts, he will bring them up again and again. The goal is to make the other party feel miserable. He has a difficult time communicating in a healthy way and is terrified to take responsibility for his feelings.

To forgive is a death sentence to the emotional insecure person. This challenges him to put down the weapons and become vulnerable, which is very difficult for the emotional immature person.

Most of us will find ourselves acting emotional immature or mature at some point in our lives, which is normal and okay. By experimenting with our emotions, we learn what works for us and what doesn't as well as what makes us feel good and what doesn't.

It's a trial and error system and eventually we'll all get it. Until then, be kind to those who don't get it and learn from those who do. Because underneath it all our true source of being is that of LOVE. When we realize this, emotions will no longer confuse or control us.