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David's Child Abuse Story
| David from the United States writes: In the late 1970's they sort of segregated my elementary school allowing the better "prep kids" to stay in Milo while they shipped troubled students, students with low grades, and other issues up to Brownville Junction in Maine. They said they ran out of room in Milo and needed to split the class but this was not true. But because my grades were low (because I was depressed because a year before my dad committed suicide) they shipped me up to the Brownville school. Teachers were mentally and verbally abusive and bullies would pick on me all the time. Anyway an incident happened that I now consider a type of sexual abuse/harassment. Some bullies pushed me into a bathroom stall that had a broken lock; they then told the kid inside that I was trying to peak on him. When I told the teachers what happened, the teachers chose to believe the bullies over me. Anyway, the abuse started when the teachers started name calling me and making me feel dirty. They then had a custodian grab me viciously by the arm and ear and FORCED me into each and every classroom where I was MADE to tell each and every full class of students "what a horrible peaking tom I was, what a perverted, dirty, little child I was". I cried a lot and pleaded. My reputation was ruined as a child. I never peaked on anyone and always tried to be a good kid. Even so, the way the teachers handled it was wrong and to this day I am mentally scared and I wish I could sue that school, but I am trying to let it go. But the painful memory of humiliation, embarrassment, and being dragged in front of all those people and being forced against my will to confess to something I didn't do, still haunts me to this very day. They used humiliation and harassment instead of proper disciplinary actions. What makes it worse is that I didn't do what they accused me of. All those kids laughing at me, then calling me names in the hall and on the bus. Pervert, Dirty, Fag, etc.......... The teachers were mean to me. One named Mrs. Heath caught me tracing a picture of some people and then lied to everyone that I was drawing naked ladies with hoofed feet. The feet I was tracing were the ladies shoes she had on and it was only a tracing (I was artistic and loved to draw). I realized years later that I was not only being targeted by the bullies, but by the teachers as well. It seems to me that the teachers already had it in their heads I was a bad kid because my grades were low; so they treated me as if I was bad. The humiliation tactics ruined my self-esteem and sent me into a depression that I would not come out of until I was in my 30's. And ever time I think of Brownville Junction Maine I feel sad for that humiliated little boy. | |
David, Hello! I want you to know that your story is not uncommon. Your experience is unique, but unfortunately there are many students that have been or who are currently being harassed by peers and teachers as you were as a child. You would think that teachers would be the first to stop the abuse, but that’s not always the case; many times teachers unknowingly contribute to the abuse, especially in “boot camp like schools-assuming that’s where you were sent.” I don’t know why it’s this way, but for some reason bullies have a way with their words and actions— I guess you can say that their manipulative, controlling techniques convinces others of their own “evilness.” However, how your teachers acted was inappropriate and unprofessional! You have every right to feel as you do about your schooling! I’m so glad to hear that you’ve been able to overcome your depression and I hope that you’ve also been able to work through the issues you may still have with your father’s suicide. As you said in your story, “But the painful memory of humiliation, embarrassment, and being dragged in front of all those people and being forced against my will to confess to something I didn't do, still haunts me to this very day…” this represents a good example of the after-effects of child abuse. Healing from your child abuse story will be an ongoing process of rebuilding a better relationship with yourself. I’m sure you’ve felt helpless about this situation for a long time now, which is probably the biggest road block to rebuilding your self-esteem and worth as a human being. I’m in the process of writing a free child abuse e-book called, “Healing from Your Child Abuse Story Once and For All..” This book will walk you through step-by-step on how to regain your freedom from the past so you can live a fulfilling life today. You can find the articles here. I want you to know that you are entitled to feel good about yourself. If you can look at what has happened to you in a different way (i.e., a positive way that can influence others), you’ll no longer feel like the humiliated boy from Brownville Junction Maine! Instead, you’ll thank Brownville for helping you find your purpose in this world! You can choose to let those teachers and peers define you as a “insecure little boy” or you can choose to let this experience define you as “strong, compassionate, understanding, loving, and determined man!” I see you as the strong, loving, and determined young man rather than the insecure, abused, humiliated, and helpless child! You have a lot to offer others; it’s just a matter of creating what it is that you need to see in this world! With Love,
Brandy Shirley, M.A. If you would like to comment on David's story, please post your comment below and I will post the comment on his page. Only encouraging, inspiring, and "been there-understanding" messages are accepted. Other Child Abuse Stories:Search the Relationship-with-self directory for more child abuse stories...
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