Communication Anxiety

How to Receive Compliments Without Feeling Conceited!

A common form of communication anxiety is fear of receiving compliments. A person may not want to come off as "conceited" or may lack the confidence within oneself, making it difficult to accept any sort of compliment from someone else.

I was recently listening to a popular radio station when a man refused to accept any sort of compliment the DJ offered. The DJ said something like, "Wow, I can't believe you got that answer. You are very intelligent." The man immediately rejected the DJ's compliment by saying "No, I'm not smart. It was just a guess."

In actuality, the man on this radio station was smart but he didn't know how to respond to the DJ's compliment.

What many people don't realize when they reject a "gift" of complimenting is, they are rejecting a part of themselves. In a way, it's a put down to yourself. Why not allow yourself the opportunity to shine? You deserve it!

If you can relate to this form of communication anxiety, I have some tips that will help during the next time you're complimented.

When someone compliments you, tell them thanks.

This is a very simple tip to remember. Let's look at some possible scenarios:

Jane, your co-worker, is waiting for you in your office. She's observing your office and is starting to feel very comfortable. When you arrive back into your office Jane says, "I love how you have decorated your space." Your response is, "Thank You."

However, before this tip you may have said, "Oh, this! I just threw a few things together without even thinking about it." When in reality, you spent a lot of time decorating your office because you enjoy it so much. Your response tells your co-worker that you do not value something when in actuality, you value decorating very much!

Think before you speak.

Take a moment to yourself before you respond to a compliment. Take a breather. You do not need to have an "immediate" response. Make it a priority to not downgrade yourself. Do everything you can to say something nice like, Thank You! I really enjoy decorating!" Avoid saying anything negative about yourself.

Give a compliment to someone else.

This is a good way to relieve communication anxiety. I always tell my clients, who struggle with social anxiety, to always ask people questions about themselves. This is a technique that helps you feel comfortable in getting to know someone else.

And after learning the importance of honoring compliments, maybe you could teach the other person to say "Thanks" to your compliment!

I remember watching an TV episode about, "Who you would thank if you received an Oscar." And this one guy said, "I've always wanted to thank myself, but I would never do that." I thought, "What a wonderful idea."

It's amazing how many people fail to compliment themselves, especially for an accomplishment like winning an Oscar. I assume it's because these people don't want to look conceited or they're afraid of the communication anxiety attached to compliments.

Go ahead and receive those compliments. When you are struggling with the anxiety of receiving compliments, just remember the above tips. They are very simple and easy to use.

Related Articles for Communication Anxiety:

Symptoms of Social Anxiety Disorder
Social Anxiety Disorder Test
Social Anxiety Disorder Treatment

Return from Communication Anxiety to Learning More About Communication