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Best Friend not so Friendly anymore

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Jan 23, 2010
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His actions are telling you it's time to move on..
by: Brandy Shirley, M.A.

Hi Shawnie,

It sounds to me that your best friend has had romantic feelings for you, which I'm sure he's had for a long time now. Losing weight was just the icing on top of the cake.

It's very difficult to stay "close friends" with the opposite sex while married or in a serious relationship. Why? Because boundaries are crossed and feelings become hard to manage.

With that being said..I'm sure it's still hard seeing your friend suddenly turn his back on you, especially after every thing the two of you have been through together. Yet, the only way you'll know what's going on in your friend's head is to ask and let him know how you're feeling.

My advice..after you are done talking to him allow yourself to experience new opportunities. Begin focusing on the relationship you have with your husband. Allow this relationship to blossom and become his best friend. In the end, thank your other best friend for giving you the opportunity to get closer with your husband.

My best,

Brandy Shirley

Jan 22, 2010
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RE:
by: Shawnie

There has to be a better way then to ignore me.

Yes hubby does know about it and doesnt care it was in the past.

Jan 22, 2010
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bfnsfa
by: jam

He has to feel uncomfortable with you, maybe because he doesn't want to take the chance something might happen between you both, especially being a friend of hubby. Seems to me he's doing the right thing. Does hubby know about the hook up?

Jan 22, 2010
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RE:
by: Shawnie

I know if I drink too much and not exercise I will gain the weight back. Thats a given. Since the last time he saw me I have lost an additional 14lbs. So I plan on sticking with it.

Its not that I want to keep his new interest. There is no interest right now. He wont even talk to me. That is what I have a problem with.

You think that he is now interested in me again and thats why he is ignoring me and trying to avoid looking at me?

I guess I can see how that would make sense. I never thought that is what it could be since we have always been really good friends and would compliment each other freely.

What can I do to get him to talk about this so I can know for sure?

Jan 22, 2010
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bfnsfa
by: jam

If she puts the weight back on he'll most likely not show the interest he had before. If she wants to keep his new interest then keep the weight off, or let things go back to the way they were by staying the same.

I see it all to do with the weight, if she's drinking and eating the weight will come back on anyway.

Jan 22, 2010
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Talk to him
by: Anonymous

I dont see what that has to do with her question, she only said they went out once. So all that drinking doesnt make sense.

I think he still has a thing for you especially after you lost the weight. but doesnt want to admit it or is scared to because you guys are really good friends and your married. Maybe he sees you different now or is more attracted to you.

I would try to talk to him.

Jan 22, 2010
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Best friend not so friendly anymore
by: Jam

If you are eating with all that going out to bars you'll put the 20 lbs back on.

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