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Assertiveness SkillsDiscover Whether or Not Your Assertive!There are several benefits to learning assertiveness skills. For instance, if you're assertive, you'll display more confidence and self-respect. Likewise, when you have mastered assertiveness, you'll gain the respect of others, without even trying too hard. Do you want to learn how to become more assertive? Well, just follow along and I'll teach you how to do this! Let's get started with learning what type of communicator you are! There are three types of communication styles: 1.) Passiveness Passiveness is similar to shyness. If you are a passive person, you may have difficulty communicating your needs, wants, and feelings to others because you don't feel worthy. When you are passive, you are afraid of what others think of you. 2.) Assertiveness Assertiveness is similar to confidence. If you're assertive, you're able to communicate your needs, wants, and feelings to others in a healthy, loving, and respectful way, while being able to respect other people's needs, wants, and feelings. 3.) Aggressiveness Aggressiveness is similar to wanting ego and power. If you're aggressive, you're able to communicate your needs, wants, and feelings to others in a unhealthy, selfish way. Your actions tell others that you don't care about the other person's needs, wants, or feelings. Sometimes someone can also fall under the category of passive-aggressive. If you're still unsure of what communication style you fall under, check out the assertiveness test to help you understand your assertiveness skill level. This test will help you understand whether you're submissive, aggressive, or assertive. Once you know what type of "communicator" you are, read further and you'll learn how to build assertiveness skills from where you are now. If you are a submissive type of communicator read this section In order to improve your communication skills, you need to build your confidence. Click here for more information on building confidence. As soon as you start feeling more confident within yourself, communication will become much easier. Tell yourself,
The most important concept to remember if you are submissive is....
"I am worthy for just being me." When you are involved in a conversation with one, two, or more people, ask questions about the other person. This will create a trusting, open relationship, which will allow you the opportunity to feel more comfortable with being you. Feeling more comfortable in a conversation will help you assert your needs, wants, and feelings because the other person will already respect you for listening to them. If you are an aggressive type of communicator, read this section The biggest piece of advice I can give someone who has an aggressive communication style is to tell yourself,
"Just because the other person has a different opinion than mine, doesn't mean they don't value my opinion. I don't have to get aggressive to be heard and understood." There is no need to raise your voice, become dominant, or offended. Let go of your fear that no one will listen to you if you are not aggressive. Actually, quite the opposite will happen! When you're more respectful of the other person's view, he or she will be more respectful of you. If you are an assertive type of communicator, read this section If you're already assertive, congrats! This means you can listen, appreciate, and respect someone else's view and opinion without feeling insecure or defensive if someone disagrees with your beliefs. The reason you're able to do this is because you value your opinions and beliefs regardless of what others say or do. You're able to not take anything personal. Overall, assertiveness skills is definitely a great goal to aim for. Not only will assertiveness improve your sense of self, but it will also improve your mood and relationships with other people. Related Articles for Assertiveness Skills: Take the Communication Survey This survey will help you understand what type of communication problems you and others are having. Intrapersonal Communication Return from Assertiveness Skills to Learning More About Communication
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